Hebraic Musing – How to manage passions in war-time?
Scenario
– A warrior is fighting a long hard battle and in the midst of the battle he
comes across a beautiful woman he wants to take home. But God tells him -- “Bring her into your
home and have her shave her head, trim her nails and put aside the clothes she
was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her
father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband
and she shall be your wife.” — Deuteronomy 21:12–13
Why
would God tell us to take a captive woman back to your home, shave her head,
wait 30 days, and then, and only then, can you be her husband? Why is it not okay now, but it would be okay
after 30 days?
Chances
are that at the end of 30 days, the warrior would no longer be in the fierce
battle with adrenalin pumping and passion flowing, so he would probably find “If
you are not pleased with her, let her go …” (v. 14) The principle of this commandment is that the
best way to combat passion is with time. When we try to go head-to-head with
our passions and emotions when they are at their height, we are more likely to
lose. But if we wait it out until things cool down, we will be fighting on more
rational ground.
Soldiers
and law enforcement personnel learn to “stop, drop, and roll” in dangerous
situations. Whenever there is a
dangerous passion, anger, desire, or intense emotions, stop what you are
doing, drop the issue for a while; and roll on with your life.
You can revisit it later with a clearer and more rational head.
Personal
example: I’m developing that itch to
trade cars for something different. The more I study the market and available
dream cars, the more the itch needs scratching and if I am not careful I will
succumb. I need to “stop, drop, and roll”.
How
many relationships could we save if a conversation were put off for a day or
two? How fewer regrets would we have if
we took time to cool down when things heated up? My father once told me he wrote an angry
letter, signed it, sealed it, stamped it and put it in his desk drawer. The
next day he decided not to send it. He told me that 67 years ago, but I still
remember the lesson. I wish I had obeyed it more often!
Rabbi
Eckstein says “Tempted to eat something that is bad for you? Go for a walk,
take a drink of water, and then think about what you really need at that
moment.”
Point to Ponder
Is there a passionate
emotional desire taking over your sense of reasoning?
Do you need to “Stop, Drop,
and Roll”?
“Chazak, Chazak, v’Nit’Chazek” (be strong, be strong, and
let us be strengthened)
Yosef a.k.a. Joe Brusherd October
1, 2013
Author of
two books “Hebraic Insights” and “Biblical
Marriage”
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