Musing – What can we Learn from David’s Domestic Squabble?

Hebraic Musing – What can we Learn from David’s Domestic Squabble?

 

Remember the story of “David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the Lord with all his might,…” as the Ark of the Covenant came into Jerusalem?  2 Sam 6:14-20 NIV    And then the trouble began – “…, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart.”  Then a tragic confrontation – “When David returned home to bless his household, Michal … said, ‘How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!’"

How should David have reacted?  Let’s dig a deeper, who is Michal?  A – David’s first wife, Saul’s daughter.

Now let’s take a closer look at the confrontation.  Bible versions leave the impression David was indecently exposed – Doubtful!  He was wearing a priestly linen ephod.  He was NOT half-naked, but in Michal’s eyes it was not dignified for a king; and she would know since she grew up in royalty.  Here is how Ron Cantor described Michal’s reaction – “She was also probably judging David for acting as if he were a priest. He is making sacrifices.  David is not a Levite. He is from the tribe of Judah. Where does he get off dressing like a priest and making sacrifices?  What Michal could not understand is that, prophetically, David, the father of Yeshua, is a priest, ‘in the order of Melchizedek.’” (Ps. 110:4)

BUT here is how David goes off on his wife “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord's people Israel — I will celebrate before the Lord.  I will become even more undignified than this, …" 2 Sam 6:21-22   I am ashamed to admit it, but I can relate to David’s response.  It hurts to be accused of evil, especially from your wife, when you are doing what you thought was good.

Why is Michal responding this way?  What did she hear?  David criticized her father and speaks boastfully of being chosen above her brother Jonathan.  Let’s look at what this poor girl, Michal, has been through:
 - Michal probably loved David, a rugged, handsome hero of Israel and a fierce fighter, but…
 - She was raised by a psychopath, Saul.
 - Saul gave her to David for the foreskins of 100 Philistines in hopes “she may be a snare to him and … the Philistines may be against him.”  Gross, yes!  Saul hoed that difficult bride-price that David would get killed.
 - Her husband has to abandon her, to flee for his life.  Saul was trying to kill him.
 - She is given to another man while still married to David.
 - Saul died and David is made king, comes back to find his wife, Michal, had been given to another.  David tells his general to bring him his wife.  She is taken forcibly back to David from her second husband, Paltiel, who follows her, weeping.  (Maybe she grew out of her love for David and grew to love Paltiel and resented being taken away?  Did she have to leave children behind?  She never forgot this traumatic experience.)  
 - When David returns from exile, he has got new wives and takes on even more wives.

His wife, Michal, had been through the emotional mill, trauma, abused, a broken woman.  David could only see that she was criticizing him; but he couldn’t see she was crying out for love and stability. 

A lesson for us men –  Even though we love our wives, we can so easily go completely in the flesh. 
And wives – Michal used criticism instead of communication to convey what she was really feeling.  She assumed her husband would figure her out.  No way!  You will be disappointed.  We men are not that sharp! 

Points to ponder

How many times do you now wish you had “Stopped, Looked and Listened”?

Can we men learn to ignore the words, and figure what’s going on inside?

“My sheep listen to my voice…”   John 10:27

Yosef   a.k.a.  Joe Brusherd                                      October 16, 2018

Author: “Hebraic Insights – Messages exploring the Hebrew roots of our faith” 
“Biblical Marriage (by Yosef)”   Weekly “Hebraic Musings”

Note – Inspired by and excerpted from Ron Cantor’s “How David Destroyed His Marriage!” Sept. 20, 2018
     For the original post - http://messiahsmandate.org/how-david-destroyed-his-marriage/

And Ron Cantor’s conclusions:

What did Michal really want to say?  “I’m hurt! I’m broken. I don’t know who I am. I don’t feel that you love me. I can’t rejoice like you. I’m mad at you! My father and my brothers are dead! I need someone to hold me!” 

And let’s imagine that David had walked over to her (even though he was super busy with kingdom work!) and put his arms around her and said:  “Sweetheart, I can’t imagine what you are feeling. I know you are hurting and broken, but I want you to know, even your criticism will not keep me from loving you. You are not just the Queen of Israel. You are my queen. I will never leave you again…”  

They both acted childishly. If she could have simply been honest and shared what she was really feeling and if he could have been there to love her, instead of reacting to the verbal attack, the story would have ended differently.  “I don’t know, but something tells me that if he had been the man he was supposed to be, and loved her like she needed to be loved, she would have repented of her judgment and she would have been mother to the next King of Israel, not Bathsheba.”