Musing – How can a Youth Pastor complement the Parent’s Role?

 

Hebraic Musing – How can a Youth Pastor complement the Parent’s Role?

First, let me defend the need for “Youth Pastors”.  There are more and more youth growing up in single parent and broken homes.  I authored “Biblical Marriage” years ago in my feeble effort to reverse that trend.  (Amazon search “Biblical Marriage Yosef”)  Meanwhile, the vast majority of youth available to attend church are not being raised in the home of both of their original parents.  Thus, there is a need for special guidance for that large segment of the population.

I accepted Christ while attending St. Raphael’s Catholic Church and they stressed a strong “Marriage Encounter” program.  One day I asked our Pastor “Why do we not have a youth program?”  Pastor Bill’s response: “If we take care of the parents, they will take care of their children.”

How can a “Youth Pastor” support the parents and their role in raising their own children without usurping that role?  To whom did God give the responsibility to raise children?    “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”  Deut 6:6-9   NIV   Biblically, the original Youth Pastors were called Parents.  

But as with many elements of the child rearing process parents have abdicated their responsibility to the “experts”.  We see that in –
 - Education (public schools instead of the biblical home-schooling)
 - Value systems (taught in public schools and entertainment media instead of the home)
 - Faith (relying on the “youth or children pastor” instead of discipleship by parents).  

If parents can’t articulate or live out their faith in their daily Christian Walk, then the parents need to step up to their responsibility.  How often have we seen that responsibility abdicated to the “Youth Pastor” rather than Parents?  Are parents being taught, encouraged, prepared, supported in their efforts to fulfill their responsibility for the discipleship of their children.  I’ve often heard a truism – “Rule without relationship breeds rebellion.”  To what extent is a diminished relationship between parents and their children contributing to the “rebelliousness” we attribute to ‘Teen-ager-hood”. 

In perspective – I recognize that “t the vast majority of youth available to attend church are not being raised in home of their two original parents.”  And I have to recognize that my own children were Spiritually raised by “Youth Pastors” before I “Got Smart”.  Thus, there is a clear and important role for “Youth Pastors”!

 Points to ponder

How can we support our “Youth Pastors” biblically?

How can Youth Pastors or church leadership support the parents’ role,
instead of potentially undermining it?

Let’s recognize the underlying problem is the breakdown of “Biblical Marriage”.

♫  Faith of our fathers!  Holy faith!  We will be true to thee…♫   or  ♫  Jesus loves the little children…♫

Yosef   a.k.a.  Joe Brusherd                                     July 23 2024

Author: “Hebraic Insights – Messages exploring the Hebrew roots of our faith” 
“Biblical Marriage (by Yosef)”   Weekly “Hebraic Musings”   insightsbyyosef.blogspot.com

PS – At a recent Awana Baptist youth program awards presentation I witnessed many Godly men and women leading bus-loads of age grouped children.  Children in those groups were not from their family but they were of God’s family.  Beautiful picture of Saints fulfilling pastoral/parenting roles!

PPS – An opinion worth considering:   “Much the same way welfare state robs people of their self respect.  So does the understanding of the modern idea of the “Youth Pastor”.  Too often their very presence facilitates a natural tendency to be lazy and not step up to the responsibility of “raising up the child in the way he should go”.  If the parent has never taken responsibility for learning to be obedient to Jesus, it is highly unlikely a youth pastor can.  When we help someone with a need, we may be inadvertently absolving the person with the primary responsibility of fulfilling the need.”  Psychologists call that “Enabling”.

Response from Chris Cooper, Youth Pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church:

Joe, great thoughts. Certainly, youth and children’s pastors should not attempt to replace parents and parents should not rely on them for that. We get to teach them for around a grand total of 3-4 hours a week. I see my role as providing another spiritual resource for them and parents, for providing a Godly atmosphere for fellowship and worship, for being a shepherd through a phase of life and really lifelong since I never stop being their youth pastor :)

Response from Jason Buss, Children’s Pastor at Immanuel Baptist Church:

I'm not sure anyone in ministry would consider themselves as trying to usurp the authority or spiritual leadership of the home knowingly or unknowingly. Our role within the body of Christ is to come alongside parents and compliment what they are doing at home. Yes many parents do little to nothing in regards to spiritual leadership and so the only real spiritual influence can be a youth or children's pastor. I see part of my ministry as equipping parents to lead which in turn will strengthen families (one of the 4 main goals of our children's ministry). 

I do agree that many parents abdicate their role to the church but that is not the fault, intention, or desire of the church or those who serve in ministry. I believe that the word undermining, by definition, shouldn't be used because it implies something intent that simply isn't there. The role of children's ministry and youth ministry is simply to come alongside parents and serves as a place for kids and youth to grow in their faith with their peers. It allows for the iron sharpening iron that Soloman talked about. 

I would approach the article from the standpoint of why it is important for parents not to abdicate their biblical responsibility to the church. That is what I have seen all too often. And then when their child makes a poor decision  or has a crisis of faith they blame the church for not preparing their child. The very child that they are biblically responsible to train up. No one in ministry is putting parents down or trying to usurp their authority. 

And biblically we are called to spur one another on, hold one another accountable, confess sins to one another, pray for one another, fellowship with one another, study the word together, etc. These things take place in various forms in the church. Children and Youth Ministries just do that in an age specific way. 

Those are just some quick thoughts